The Unwanted Path

Do you know how hard life could be?? Like the hourglass turning up side down and everything will hit the rock bottom?? It is an experience of life I wanted to forget..

I want to wait until someone turning it around again, but not like this..
I pretend to be someone I should be is not a wise choice and making me feel normal will only do me pain even more..

Like my last post, "Why can't I break free from this chain of fate??"

It's hard.. Hard to be someone I used to be. Nothing supports me.. What if 'this' will happen for the longest time ever??

I can't think clear.. My mind is blur.. My head feels like being dodge around.. I can hardly breathe.. I barely made it out.. My chest feels like being stumped and it keeps pushing me..

"When you can't think clear, she'll come and that is unwanted.. But when you try to think clear, you'll remember everything about it and let your tears fall to your cheeks.."

Those words will keep telling me everything and I just can't stop it.. How can I stop myself from warning me?? It make me want to scream and just fall from the highest heights of the world you can think of..

When I fall, it feels like it's neverending.. Like it is an endless heights.. I can see nothing but the dark.. Even if it's an abyss, I may not know cos tis' so dark..

What fate awaits me in the future.. Will I fall into the endless abyss or will I fall into a deep love of my dreams?? No, not deep love but maybe my 'Heaven'..

There's this song I found and it's quite a story.. From the lyrics which are Latinized down here.. Well, it's a good song.. Paramore - Decode ost. Twilight

How can I decide what's right??
When you're clouding up my mind
I can't win your losing fight all the time..

It's true and well.. It can drives me crazy and at the same time.. sad

How can I ever own what's mine??
When you're always taking sides
But you wont take away my pride
No not this time.. Not this time

Yeah.. True enough.. Makes me confuse and hard to choose..

How did we get here?
I used to know you so well..
But how did we get here?
I think I know..

I wonder why.. It happens all of the sudden and I think I know what's going on but I just can't tell about it..

The truth is hiding in your eyes
And it's hanging on your tongue
Just boiling in my blood
But you think that I can't see..

I know there's something you just can't tell by describing it and sometimes, I get a little bit impatient.. And hiding it.. I know everything now..

What kind of man that you are?
If you're a man at all
Well I will figure this one out
On my own.. On my own

I know the type.. But you have more.. So it's worth finding out now..

I'm screaming I love you so
My thoughts you can't decode..

Even if I tell, will you understand what I'm trying to say?? Will you turn around and look at me?

How did we get here?
I used to know you so well
But how did we get here?
I think I know..

The only thing that made me think a thousand times, " Why're you hiding it??"

Do you see..
What we've done??
We're gonna make such fools of ourselves..

Should it be, "Do you see, what you've done??"

Do you see..
What we've done??
We're gonna make such fools of ourselves..

Can't you see it?? Everything?? This?

How did we get here??
I used to love you so.. yeah
How did we get here??
I used to love you so..

Why?? That's my only question now.. The simplest question is sometimes the hardest to answered..

I think I know..
I think I know..
There is something I see in you
It might kill me,
I want it to be true..

It's just my guessing but, it's true right??

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The song ends here.. So Latinized words from here is not the lyrics..