Busy Life? Here's a Post

i post this as soon as i can so i hope to make it longer than the last one. try to think of it as my token of apology or whatever. haha
so yesterday i was going out at 6 pm to my english course, located near my house just a few blocks away, by a bike, still with my loosen headphone turned on.
it was windy, sure, but that's probably the best way to spend my night, somewhere out there:) hahaha so i basically didn't learn anything that day cos my teacher keeps talking about this and that. it's not in a bad way though, she's a very supportive teacher of mine and i respect her for that. she's very nice and like her name, she has a very 'SUNNY' personality. we talked for an hour, discussing what's going on these days. i also discussed some of my dreams to her like;
1. getting scholarships to somewhere out there
2. finding Harvard's requirements
3. learning more of TOEFL and IELTS
4. live band somewhere with my band
5. travelling & extreme sports
6. issues of Indonesia's before and after, then and now + future
and so many things we could think of. it was a very information-based conversation but it's not boring at all. in fact, i enjoyed it. this is probably the first time i met a teacher outside of school that does not making me sleep (besides Bu Linda) hahhaa. she even told me where i can generate my hobby into making money (my musical hobby that is), isn't that just awesome?
she said she knows a place where live band used to stage and i was so excited and still now. i told my friend and yes, she's excited too.
after that long chat, an hour passed so quickly. so i went home at 7 pm. during the way home, i don't know what's gotten into me but i screamed a song the whole way home. guess what, no one's around so there's no need to be ashamed of what i've done:) this is a stupid secret==a hahaha
so when i finally arrived home, i got back to my laptop as usual. still turned on cos i was downloading a movie 'No Strings Attached' played by Natalie Portman and Ashton Kutcher. here's a picture:

yeah, that night i watched it until midnight. it was a good movie regardless of the mature contents inside, it has a very interesting plot and inspirational, i guess. i'm not really sure what to say but it's really really great and i was thinking of watching it today:) it was awesome and funny too so it's not boring at all.

talk about movies, i'm currently downloading Resident Evil Quartrology played by Milla Jovovich. i'm a big fan of Resident Evil or Biohazard though i don't play any of it until recently i tried out one; Resident Evil 5 on ps3. it was a demo actually but it was very exciting. i know i'm not really a good gamer at it but it was worth the shot. the stories are interesting too(Y)

man, anyway, i'm currently really busy but i don't mind spending some of my time to this blog of mine. why? to lighten up the mood, that's why! yeah i've stressed out on my chemistry homework. not to mention there's another math homework and i haven't study economy for tomorrow. man i'm really a hardworker huh? yeah, i don't like being called smart or intelligent. i'd rather be called creative and a hardworking person. why? smart and intelligent are knowledge and information based and nothing else. how are you gonna survive with only that? that's when creativity and a perseverance (hardworking attitude) comes in handy. i wanna survive; that's my goal(Y) this is a harsh world after all. i have to adapt and improvise everything so it suits just fine:)
oh that reminds me of my old memories of listening to Project Pop whenever i'm not in the mood and yes, it still works(Y)! Project Pop is a really inspirational band of six people and they have funny and cheery songs that could lighten up your mood. i really recommend it to you guys.

oh yeah so if up till now what i've posted gone from one place to another well, i hardly stays at one topic for a long time because i usually gets confused unless i have the details. so that's it for today. i'll post again when i have the time or whenever i get bored from studying and reviewing my materials. thanks again for reading this blog, hope you like it and gives you inspiration. best wishes to you all. remember, creativity and hard-work is the key to survival but probably the most crucial thing is: FOOD.
hahhaha i'm serious about that anyway. so until then guys!
gao gao

Damn I'm Enjoying Life to the Point of Leaving It Be

yup like the title said;
i'm enjoying it till the time i screwed up for leaving it be..man this sucks
well there's a long story short i wanna tell;
just now, say about 5 o'clock in the evening, i just got back from cycling around to get my biology books and get my math books for binding. with loosen headphone hanging around my neck, loud songs played (Born This Way - Lady Gaga), i sat back on a chair, take my time and enjoying my glass of coke...
what a peaceful evening... too peaceful even i can't stand it==a
anyway, i was thinking so many stuffs in my head i thought i was gonna explode or just drop dead but yeah, no thanks. besides projects, i've grown accustomed to physics which is sort of scary and weird for me but still not for math==a
damn you math.
back to the story, that was part of what's on my mind but the majority was taken over something silly and stupid and not worth worrying about when i'm going to be so busy. just guess if you want. i mean, sometimes, do you feel like people took you for granted? or is it just me? i really hate being taken for granted cos i'll just look like a fool and someone's just trample on my pride.
i know pride's not everything but seriously, everybody at least have one, right?
anyway, this post is going to be short cos i'll be out for a while, need to take a break on the outside:p
i'll post one more at a later time if i'm not too busy.
thanks for reading whoever you are, strangers:)
gao gao

A Confidential Confidence

is it too early posting 2 blogs in a row?
well, just felt like doing so-_-
so hi again to the world and all of you strangers in between (we're all strangers, hell yeah) to whatever this is i'm doing with my time.
say, it's a blog.

anyway, i wanna share a quote that came in my mind today. not sure but here it is:

I don't tell others that I'm superior nor do I think of myself as inferior for doing so is already sinful because I believe that I'm born this way, to be one of God's greatest perfection

yep, still, it's true i never think myself as superior. normally, even if i do, i was joking around. me superior? right, the world's turning upside down. but maybe thinking myself as inferior being is what i do most which makes me sinful (well, we all do, just be honest)
there's this problem i have within me that caused me to think myself as an inferior;
i lack confidence.
yes, i have no talents at all in a confident manner. nothing. zero. end of the line. period.
pretty much, i'm upset the way it is. it hinders me from many things that i'm supposed to (or rather i 'was' supposed to) reach just because i'm afraid.
i brag in front of people sometimes so they won't found out what i really feel.
it's really anybody's guess. you get the idea.
sometimes, i wonder to myself, 'if i were this confident kind of girl, would it change anything? maybe change the way the world move towards me? change things that seems impossible to me? change the way i always feel about mostly anything? will it make any differences?'
anyone could guess a 'yes' on any of the above but, i'm not sure myself..
i am a sick person, who needs to be treated to call out those confidence that lies within me and kick out those unimportant such as the insecurities, afraid and other stuffs that doesn't count in myself to pursue a better future.
man, it's not easy, nothing's been easy hahaha
but i have this really great teacher (my acoustic guitar teacher; he has great confidence in whatever he is doing in music and he sounds really awesome! he looks like bruno mars too:p) who supports me in finding my confidence.
he said,

Musicians greatest enemy is not of being unable to play awesomely, the real enemy is themselves. Those fears, those insecurities, those shy and silly self-conciousness, throw them away! Musicians are all crazy being to start with and we all do crazy stuffs and enjoy things the way it is. Confidence is our bestest friend.

damn right.. i knew he's awesome (Y)
so how should i find the confidence i need?
it's simple;
just go crazy!
well, in a good way:P hahaha, this is a good reference to all of you who're shy like me (i'm not really shy but at some point, yes..)
you don't have to be a musician to be able to go crazy, everyone can go crazy!
that way you'll enjoy that very moment you change your view about life, about everything!
i don't have proof now on how it's done, but someday i will. just you wait!
i'm gonna be a future rockstar! well, not quite but yeah. hahaha
okay so anyway, if my posts are really getting too serious, well sorry:(
sometimes, i want to be known as serious too, not just some weirdo who happens to find out about things called 'blogging' and just posts some nonsense cos that's nonsense.
nonsense = senseless
senseless = boring
boring = nothing worth to read
even worst right?
so okay enough chit chat, that's enough from me
hope you guys enjoy reading my posts (that are sometimes not serious enough)
and thanks for stopping by.
gao gao
(i don't have constant signatures, don't you realize?)

y'all i'm back

hey guys, it's been a while(Y)
yep, i'm a freakin 10 grader now, just gone crazier with each passing day
how's high school life?
i can't really decide right away but now, it's pretty damn cool(Y)
new stuffs to do, no more boredom at home, work some things out and hey, new friends!
what else could i possibly want?
well there are lots i guess:p
1. perform a duet
2. get good scores
3. clear problems up
4. no more projects to worry
5. math go to hell
6. physics could do the same as the above (no.5)
7. sketch some new plans
8. get in relationship (optional, really, i don't mind)
9. work out, sleep late, doing the usual, unbreakable habits
10. lots and lots of music and arts and literature and and and TOEFL TEST
yeah i know, i'm not really the smart-type person and more like the working-my-ass-hard-cos-it's-want-i-want-to-do-stuffs-type of person (got that?)
man, things are getting pretty much stiff these days. even i seems to lost contact with one of my bf..well, there're things much more important for now, i'll leave it be for the time being..
we'll come around, i guess hahaha

anyway, thanks for stopping by, reading this stupid blog i own and don't forget to check my deviant cos i've upload new stuffs to it and hope you guys like it(Y)
(so many 'and')
caooooooooooooooooooooo
~Katar-Act, your future rockstar(?)